We finally found a responsibility chart that works! Read my post about why here. But then the car brakes failed, and required rearranging schedules and being creative with transportation. We had an extra competition week, which disrupted normal schedules. There were a few snow days, and we couldn’t keep track of the days. Sound familiar? Developing systems that work is vital. But no matter how good the system, there will always be disruptions to the system. Find out how to fuel ADHD success with bonus stars.
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When life gets off track
We finally found this responsibility chart that works! Keeping track of progress and rewards is all in the same place. We keep the expectations basic tasks that are easy to accomplish, even on busy days. However, on occasion, things still get missed. Little Bit is not able to independently rearrange tasks if the normal routines get disrupted. While most of her tasks don’t take long, we don’t need one more reason to delay bedtime. But her feeling the success from getting her stars and earning rewards is vital. Check out this article about the importance of positive parenting here. So what can you do when things get off track?
Bonus stars for success
Sometimes we notice Little Bit won’t be able to reach her weekly goal. When it is due to life circumstances rather than her choices, we want to help her succeed. This is a great opportunity for bonus stars. I have added a category to the chart of ”bonus stars”. These are tasks that she is capable of doing, but may not be a set part of the daily routine. This gives me flexibility to give her an appropriate chore to earn bonuses and meet her weekly star goal.
Success fuels success
I think part of why my many previous attempts at chore charts had failed was complexity. If I was going to take time to create a system, I wanted to remember to include everything. I wanted to teach my kiddos responsibility. There was too much on my plate, and they could offer relief. None of the tasks were unrealistic. But even with everything planned out for them, when life happened and schedules were disrupted, it was difficult to get back on track.
Part of what made the responsibility chart work was simplicity. Simple tasks that should be part of the daily routine. Positive rewards of quality/positive time together. Being successful and feeling good about it has encouraged her to point out her success. She’s remembering and asking to clean up after herself through the day, which is one of her tasks. I can remind her of tidying that needs done and she’s motivated to do it.
Success in all areas of life
My idea for bonus stars came partially from a mental performance coaching program Biggs started. She was suddenly struggling to ”go for it” on a gymnastics skill she’s done successfully for over a year. In the quest to rebuild confidence, we’ve learned about the importance of success at whatever progression she CAN DO. We even started a jar for her to add paper clips to after each practice of anything that helped build confidence. Wether that was a successful progression on a new skill on any event, or success on any level of progression for the skill she’s struggling with.
Model loving yourself
Giving opportunities for bonus stars can be a way to model giving both the parent and child grace. Check out my post on loving yourself here. We can be so much more successful in life we are kind to ourselves. Also, layering our strategies to create success make us more likely to succeed. If one thing slips through the cracks, another layer helps pick up the slack.
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The content in this post is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is merely opinion based on personal research and experience.